you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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