Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize