Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

You work out of a Hotel?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!

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(626): View more from California

Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?

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(301): View more from Maryland

But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?

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(831): View more from California

to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal

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(815): View more from Illinois

I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.

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(941): View more from Florida

& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....

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