i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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