Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
