I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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