i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
