it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
