watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
