Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
