You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
