stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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