please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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