I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
