so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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