Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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