WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize