Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
