talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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