you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
