Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
