I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
