I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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