She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
