The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
