that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
