I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
