Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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