I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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