i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
