is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
