Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
