Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize