He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
