I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
