well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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