I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
