i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
