Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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