***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
