All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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