did you get engaged???
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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