At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
