Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
