you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
whose parrot is this?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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