those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
