dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
