Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
