Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
