yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
