Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize