Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
