Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
