Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
