I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize