like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
