first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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