going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
