I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
