the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
