yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
