Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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