Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I was not drunk enough for that final.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
