I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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