Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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