I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
