Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
