I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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