I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Randomize
