ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
