Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
