Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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