I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
