I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
